so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
In America we eat man semen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
