I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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