god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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