kristin has been a bad kristin
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
