I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
two words...techno handjob
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
