All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
