The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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