Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
