She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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