At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
