I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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