so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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