It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
