i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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