Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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