All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
