nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
