The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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