That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
