I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
