I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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