I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
