Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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