2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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