"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
