Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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