Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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