try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
