OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
