You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
