Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
