the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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