On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
