I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
