just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
