My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sext me about skeletons
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
