the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize