normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
