y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we made out on top of his cat.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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