Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
