Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
