Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
