but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
