it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
