i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
