What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
