As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
