just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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