Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
