Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
