that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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