The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
