Where is the hickey?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
