Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The air was thick with penises
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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