Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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