I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
