I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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