If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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