Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
