The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
